Pain Management without Pain Medication

"Are you sure you don't want me to prescribe some pain medication?” The emergency room doctor looked at me in disbelief. I doubt he often has people refuse this offer.

I was in the hospital last Friday afternoon with severe neck and face pain. It doesn't seem to be anything serious, more than likely a combination of my dystonia, being at the dentist for a check-up, and perhaps a type of migraine that hits in the area of the carotid artery, right behind the ear. There's nothing to do now, but wait to see if it goes away or gets worse, and manage the pain.

I'm a medication wimp. Side effects are me. It's not only medications, either. I envy people who can drink a couple glasses of wine without feeling ill or smoke a joint and get that nice, “ooh, life is good..” sort of feeling. I have a tiny bit of medical marijuana and I get that, “ooh, the room is spinning and I feel like throwing up..” sort of feeling. Prescription meds aren't much better. Past experience with pain meds have led me to expect one of three different responses:

1. I will puke my guts out until I am severely dehydrated and end up in the E.R., in much worse pain.

2. My pain will go away, but my breathing is depressed. I'll lie on the couch, not able to move or speak, or sleep, while my breathing becomes shallower and shallower till finally I stop breathing altogether for 30 seconds or so. That's when I suddenly gasp for air in a panic and the process starts all over again...over and over and over.

3. Once in awhile I get lucky and it works, without causing any puking or breathing problems. I will only try this if I'm at the hospital and being monitored. Otherwise, it's not worth the risk

This means I've had plenty of times when I've had to practice pain management without any medications at all. After this last episode, a friend asked if I would share some of the techniques which have worked for me. I don't guarantee they will work for anyone else. Everyone's systems are unique and there isn't an easy answer, but this is what I do:

For chronic pain and to prevent acute episodes:

1. Drink water. Unless I'm puking my guts out, I try and drink as much as I can. Being dehydrated makes pain worse.

2. Yoga. My dystonia can twist me into positions that are not normal for the human body. If I'm already twisting into weird positions consciously, my body doesn't rebel as much with the dystonia.

3. Exercise. Walking is difficult for me, but dancing is delightful. If I'm sitting and working on my computer, I get up and stretch often.

4. Laughter. For me, this means being with real people, family and friends, chatting, telling jokes, sharing funny stories, and laughing at my challenges. It also means writing funny stories and sharing them in this journal, and coercing family and friends into reading them.

5. Massage therapy. Whenever I can afford it. When I can't afford it, I hope to see the “free 5 minute chair massage” sign at the Farmer's market.

6. Balance. Get out of the house. Do housework. Rest. Don't plan more than I can comfortably do without becoming fatigued. Say no when I need to say no.

Okay, I'll admit it. The last one is impossible for me. I've tried. Well... okay...honestly? I haven't tried. My philosophy has been, “If I do this now, I'll be useless later, but if I don't do this now, I'll feel useless all day.” This attitude can be somewhat good for my soul, but the physical body eventually just has to rebel. When it does, I end up exhausted and with acute pain in some form or another. One challenge is, I don't know how much activity will cause me to become exhausted. It varies.

Techniques for managing acute pain:

1. Stay away from screens – TV, computer, cell phone, e-reader. When I am not feeling well, looking at screens will make me tense up. My neck and back will become stiff, my dystonia kicks in, and my vision gets blurry. No screens. (As I love to write, this is hard for me, too.)

2. Drink water and hot tea. Drinking hot liquids helps keep the digestion going. For me, that's essential to pain management.

3. No sweets and no heavy meals. I stay away from sugar and too many carbs. Overeating, if I have any pain at all, will make me feel very ill.

4. Hot baths. This is one of the most effective ways for me to relax.

5. Rest. Rest. Rest. Sleep if possible.

When the pain gets really bad:

1. Lightly stroking the skin. A massage therapist taught me this and it is how I got through a Cesearean birth without pain medications. Any place will work, it doesn't have to be done where the pain is located. It works better if you don't go in circles (don't ask me why) but just random designs. It also works if someone else does this for me. Some people cannot tolerate this gentle touch, but for most of us, it's a simple way of releasing endorphins to help with pain.

2. Focus. This is hard to explain and I couldn't find anything written about it. This is what I've developed for myself. More than likely, someone will write to tell me what it is called; I doubt I invented anything new. I'll try to explain...

Lying down, covered warmly, I start with breathing. In yoga, I learned how to breathe in deeply and breathe out, emptying my lungs as completely as I can. It helps to count. Whatever number you count to as you breathe in, add several more numbers to your outbreath, making sure your outbreath is longer than your inbreath. This helps to calm the nervous system. No, I don't have a scientific study to back this up, but I do have a wonky nervous system that agrees with it.

As I breathe, I start to calm myself. Now, where others might tell me to go to a happy place and not think about my pain, I do just the opposite. To do this effectively, I need to know where the pain is coming from. The more I know about the exact process that's going on, the better it works.

When I know where the pain is coming from, I focus on the pain as objectively as possible. I still feel the pain, but I don't feel the panic that often comes with pain and I don't feel the need to take it away. I just contain it. I mentally let it be in whatever part of my body is hurting, and I try to allow the rest of my body to feel okay, unaffected by the pain.

It doesn't work all the time. I toss and turn and try to get comfortable. Often, though, it is when the pain is at its worst that this technique works the best for me.

Make sure you talk to your doctors about any pain you are having. They can tell if the pain you are describing is something which needs to be checked out at the office or emergency room. Then, of course, if you're not as sensitive as I am, the doc may prescribe pain medication. Take it, zone out (at home), and file this list away for another time.

Ooh, life is good!

..nor disappearing bus stops, nor missing buses, nor missed flights...

Day 3 of the Tale of the Two Intrepid Travelers by Terri and Emma Reinhart

4/18/13

Terri: Up at 6 am to wash bedding and towels, eat breakfast, and check on bus service and flight status. All seems to be a go. From the window, I have already seen 3 buses go by Ronnie's House. The 308 is obviously running today. Should be no problem getting to the airport on time. We'll leave as early as possible, just in case.

Emma: Maybe we should call a cab.

Terri: The bus costs $4 and we still have the transit card. A cab would be $40. No brainer.

 Emma: Fair enough. And we have seen buses go by so all should be well.

9:15 am

Terri: We've been waiting for half an hour and have not seen the bus. So far, two bus stops have vanished, or at least have apparently ceased to be bus stops. After arriving at the first one, we were told (by other waiting passengers) the 308 would not stop there today. We were escorted to the proper bus stop by an older gentleman who offered to show us the short cut through Veterans Hospital. There we waited for 20 minutes before an official looking man came by to tell us the bus was not stopping at that particular stop today. Now we're being escorted to the real proper bus stop.

 Emma: Maybe we should call a cab?

9:45 am

Terri: I've called the bus company and they've assured me the bus will be arriving at 9:49 am. Four minutes. We should still be okay. It's a very short ride, 5 to 10 minutes, to the transit center, then we'll be on the train. That part is easy.

Emma: Ok! Good, the bus should be here any minute now. Annnnny minute at this immediate time it should be appearing. Please?

9:55 am

Terri: No bus. A nice man with a golf cart shuttle came by and told us he wasn't sure the bus would stop there today. He would take us to the stop by the front gate because the bus always comes there. It seems the bus route has changed due to some construction work. Also, it comes one way if the gates are open and another way if the gates are closed. How do we know if it's an open or closed gate time? No one could tell us.

Emma: I’m getting rather cold. Brrrr. It wasn’t this cold yesterday. It was raining heavily but not cold. I. Do. Not. Like. The. Cold.

10:15 am

Terri: Two 331 buses have come by, but no 308's. I finally spotted the 301 on Roosevelt Ave. We ran and the bus stopped and the driver let us on. I asked if he was going to the transit station. He laughed nervously and said, “We'll see.”

Emma: One of the worst feelings is running to catch a bus. But we made it! Mom had a long conversation and I caught my breath and watched as we went by the lake cemetery. The ride to the station was supposed to take 5 to at most 10 minutes. We made it there in 45 because of traffic due to flooding.  

11:00 am

Terri: After a delightful 45 minute ride on the bus, talking to a lovely lady named Harriet, we finally arrived at the transit center. It is normally a 5 minute ride, but many streets are still closed due to flooding.

Shook hands with Harriet and wished her luck on her test. She's another 50 something going back to university classes. If the ride had lasted another 10 minutes, we probably would have exchanged email addresses.

We will not make our flight.

11:15 am

Terri: We're on the train... and it finally started to move.

Emma: I rather enjoy the train. It doesn’t get caught in traffic.

Later

Terri: Changing to orange line... we had to exit the transit system to transfer to the Orange line. This means, of course, having to pay again. Didn't expect this. We have $2.50 on our transit card – not enough for both of us. We can put more money on the card, but the machine only takes cash and won't give change. I have a $20. Asked the attendant if there was anywhere to get change or use a debit card to pay for transit. Answer? “Not here.” He opened the gate for us and let us in free.

Another rule of traveling:

8. Never pass up an opportunity to ask for suggestions, directions, help.

Emma: Thank you wonderfully nice transit station attendant!

12:30 pm

 Terri: We arrived at Midway in time to see our plane taking off. We waved.

A nice attendant at the Frontier counter let us know we could catch the next flight – at 6:45 pm. We can either fly standby, which would be free but wouldn't guarantee our seats, or secure our seats by paying an additional $25.00/each. I paid. We want to go home.

Emma: So, would a cab have gotten us here any quicker?

Terri: I don’t think so, what with the floods, road closures, and lots of traffic. Then we would have paid a lot for the cab AND still had to change our flight. And I wouldn't have met Harriet.

Emma: True. Harriet was pretty cool.

Terri: We have another 6 hours to wait. No worries. There are still shops and we still have a credit card.

1:30 pm

Terri: Bought two slices of pizza and some water. Went down to concourse to find seats and some quiet. Ate pizza and rested.

Emma: Foood! Good food. I’m feeling slightly better. Now to wait…

3:00 pm

Terri: We started feeling just a little glum. This won't do. Went to shop. Bought a cherry coke, a Sudoku book, a neck pillow, and a travel blanket. On the whole, not bad, considering how much we could have bought.

Emma: The chair is getting hard, is the floor any softer? Not really, but it’s nice to be horizontal for a bit. “Cabin Pressure” Time!

7:09 pm Denver time – on the plane

Emma: I’d listened to enough “Cabin Pressure” now that I half expected after getting on the airplane to hear, “bing-bong. ‘Good evening ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking…’” I was a bit disappointed when this didn’t happen.

Terri: We're over Nebraska now, not Denver, but I'm already thinking in Denver time. Chris will meet us at the airport. We were going to take the Skyride again, but the timing would be tight. Timing has not been in our favor this trip. Feeling mildly guilty for my extravagant purchases.  Can't wait to be home.

Emma: Come flyyy with meee…

                   And let this adventure end.

...nor torrents, nor floods, nor lost cab drivers, nor fences...

Day 2 of the Tale of Two Intrepid Travelers by Terri and Emma Reinhart

April 18, 2013

Terri:  Emma's first appointment is for a CT scan at the University of Illinois at Chicago (UIC). Being the amazing travelers we are and not wanting to shell out any more for cabs than absolutely necessary, we decided to take the bus and train to the appointment. Easy. The bus to the train station stops just a block from Ronnie's house and there's a stop for Illinois Medical District on the Blue Line.

It's raining outside...really raining. It's the kind of hard downpour that soaks you to the skin, even when you're wearing a raincoat and holding an umbrella. If it was raining like this in Colorado, we'd stay inside, but this is Chicago. It rains all the time in Chicago. This must be normal. We're not going to be wimps.

Emma:  Right, right. Goodness, it is really raining, isn’t it? Time to play, “dodge the worms on the sidewalk” or maybe a better name for it would be “worm hopscotch.” Eugh.

8:45

Terri:  We're still waiting for the bus. In the rain.

Emma:  And waiting… and waiting.

Terri:  I don't think the 308 is coming. Another person who is waiting suggested we walk to Roosevelt Ave and catch the 301 if we really needed to get somewhere, so we do that.

Still no bus. Finally, a car stops and a man rolls down the window to let us know the bus is not coming. Part of the road is closed and the bus can't get through. I must have looked panicked. He offered to drive us to the transit station. It's amazing to be on the receiving end of this kind of gift.

Emma:

It was really nice of that man to give us a lift. We’d probably have waited for that nonexistent bus for another hour before we realized that it really wasn’t coming. Thank goodness for nice people with cars.

We arrived at UIC an hour late. They were very understanding. Afterwards, while waiting for the cab, I found an article in a magazine about Audrey Hepburn, very cool. I didn’t have time to read all of it though, as the cab arrived quickly.

Terri:  Another rule for traveling:

7. Never pass up a chance to say thank you – to people, organizations, and life in general.

We didn't take any chances. We took a cab from UIC to Shriners. The cab driver was from “Al-bah-ni-a” as opposed to “Al-bā-ni-a”. Of this, he was most particular. I'm not sure how well he understood English. When the receptionist at Shriners asked what it was like outside, he answered, “Twenty-five dollars, please.”

Emma:  The Albanian cabbie was neat. He liked to talk, good thing for living in Chicago. His name was Berti.

​12:00 noon

Terri:  Exciting things to do in Chicago: Stand and wait for buses. Sit and wait for doctors. Try to use the bathroom and that's when the cab comes.

Emma:  The checkup went well. Few things to think about. Nothing major, thank the stars.

1:30 pm

Terri:  Back at Ronnie's house. I wasn't sure if we'd make it back.  This cab driver also got lost.  Thankfully, he admitted he was lost and assured me he would discount the fare.  We are HUNGRY!  Fortunately Ronnie's house is well supplied with good food. Pig out. Sleep.

Emma:  Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

6:00 pm

Terri:  Small dinner. We watched the news and learned we weren't the only ones with transportation challenges today. It seems this is not a usual Chicago rain. It is a torrential, build an ark kind of rain, and there is a lot of flooding. Roads are closed because they are two feet under water. Schools are closed. The Brookfield Zoo is closed for only the third time in its history. It's a wonder we made it anywhere today.

Emma:  It’s a bit strange, being this close to major flooding areas. Never happened to me before. It reminds me of that Doctor Who episode, “Waters of Mars” and now I have successfully been disconcerted by that thought I am off to bed.

Ok, not quite bedtime yet. Hungry.

9:00 pm

Terri:  Late night dessert

Emma:  I got mom to listen to the first “Cabin Pressure” finally!  

A quote of said radio comedy:  “I don't have an airline. I have one jet. You cannot put one jet in a line. If MJN is anything, it is an air dot.”

10:00 pm

Terri:  Listening to “Cabin Pressure” with Emma. She often suggests programs for me. This one's good! Her suggestions are always good.

Now to sleep – perchance to dream.

Neither snow, nor rain, nor dark of night - the tale of two intrepid travelers

by Terri and Emma Reinhart

April 17, 2013

Emma:  The three most important rules of traveling,

1. Never pass up a chance to use the bathroom.

2. Never pass up a chance to eat.

3. Never pass up the chance to sit down.

Terri:  One more rule:

4. Be pleasant.

My favorite part in the movie, “Harvey”, is when Elwood P. Dowd tells the doctor, “My father always told me that in this life you need to be either oh, so clever or oh, so pleasant. For most of my life I was clever. I prefer pleasant.”

Emma and I started out this trip to Chicago a little reluctantly. With the birth of our new grand daughter last weekend, it was difficult to think of leaving.

Emma:  I was also rather reluctant to travel since it meant leaving Lexus. Granted, I am a little grateful to not have to wake up at 7:30 for a few mornings or constantly go out with Lexus on the off chance that she needs to pee. Aside from the slightly more free time this allows, I am still a bit of a worried new momma but I know that she is with a very capable puppy sitter and is probably having a marvelous time with their dog.

Arrival at the airport

Terri:  We took the DIA Skyride from downtown Denver and arrived in plenty of time to catch our 2:50 pm flight. The boarding passes printed, we went through security and headed down to the gate. That's when Emma looked at her boarding pass and asked about the boarding time, which was listed as 6:05 pm. I assured her it was probably just a mistake. We looked at the departure times, just to make sure.

Emma:  I was sure there was a mistake. That was more than 5 hours away! Yet, sure enough we checked the departure schedule. Delayed. Scheduled to board at 6:05 and leave at 6:40! Ugh, what were we going to do?

Terri:  We made our phone calls, one home to update Chris, and one to Ronald McDonald House. Ronnie's house closes its doors at 8 pm. We won't land in Chicago till 10 or after, then there's the cab ride. They agreed to check with the house staff and see if someone would be willing to stay up late and let us in.

YEAH! They'll let us come!

Now, what to do for the afternoon? I called Chris and let him know we are fine. There are plenty of lovely shops and I have my credit card.

Another Rule for Traveling

5. Never pass up a chance to shop

Emma:  I approve of the new rule. As for the flight, we kept checking the departures to make sure the flight was not cancelled. I was a little worried. We overheard a man saying that he had been here since yesterday waiting for a flight. It was also snowing quite a bit now. So far so good though! There were a good number of people waiting around for delayed flights, I'm sure the shops were happy.

4:00 update:

Terri:  My energy gave out before we reached our credit limit. Time to rest. Pleasantly.

Emma:  Time to get out the music. And perhaps people watch. Always fun in an airport. I had put a bunch of audio episodes of “Cabin Pressure” on my MP3 player, I thought it was appropriate. If you're not familiar with it, “Cabin Pressure” is a British radio comedy about a crew of a small airplane that often get into all sorts of mix ups and on each others nerves. It is very funny.

Terri:  People watching is fun. Talking to people is fun, too, especially when it's crowded and everyone's been waiting a long time. I now have 35 more Facebook friends.

Emma:  You're exaggerating mom, it's more like 50 more Facebook friends.

5:00 update:

Terri:  Sitting right next to the gate doesn't make the plane come faster. If the alarm goes off suddenly, it may be because I've had a serious hot flash and have dashed out the emergency exit into the snow.

Emma:  I am wearing all the scarves because we are sitting by the gate and emergency exit. It was the tropics at the other seats, it is the Arctic here. But mom's happy.

I suddenly realized why it is not such a good idea to gulp down the last of the now lukewarm Izze drink. Hiccups are not very fun. We brought a couple snacks from home: grapes, strawberries, nuts. We also bought a bag of “Colorado Mountain Rocks, Collected Daily from the Rocky Mountains” They're tasty. I should specify that they are not actually made of various pebbles and minerals but something that is a little easier to chew and much tastier, chocolate.

Terri:  Another hour and we should be boarding. We have eaten. We have used the bathroom. We have shopped. We are sitting.

Emma:  We have cured my hiccups! And we are getting a little tired of this trip already. Maybe it will be better tomorrow, it's supposed to be much warmer in Chicago and I hear there is more to do then sitting and waiting, which will be nice. (Actually I know there is more to do, I've been there before. Lot's of attractions. And trains... And buses).

Terri:  And we're still pleasant... right?

Emma:  Bah humbug! I mean... Yes, of course. Bright eyed and smiling.

On the plane – update:

Terri: Boarded at 6:15, took off at 8:15. Will they still be gracious at Ronald McDonald House if we ring the bell at midnight?

Emma:  Yes, I'll have the turkey sandwich and the cheese and hummus platter. Yum. Ooh, goat cheese? And there's chips! If you've never had Pringles with goat cheese I... wouldn't really recommend it but it was not a half bad experience. I always forget how noisy the engines are so I don't think I'll listen to any music. Oh, well.

Terri: Pringles, ginger ale, and sleep.

In Chicago – 11:45 pm:

Terri:  Landed. Attempting to hurry across airport, call a cab, and get to Ronnie's house as soon as possible. Our attempts to hurry are thwarted by a reception for a group of WWII vets arriving in Chicago. From their gate to the outside door where they are loaded into a limo, their path is lined with soldiers in dress uniform, saluting for each of the older men as they are wheeled by in wheelchairs. A bagpipe band is at one end and a brass band at another. Beautiful, inspiring, wonderful, but it also makes it difficult to get from point A to point B.

Cab driver got lost going to Ronnie's house. Didn't know enough about cabs to argue the fare. Paid way too much. Got in at 12:45 am. Time to sleep.

Another rule for traveling:

6. Never pass up an opportunity to sleep.

Brunch for a Bunch or Growing up with the Reinhart's

A couple of girls in my high school class were arguing one day about who is included in one's immediate family. One insisted on only including your parents and siblings. The other just laughed. No, she said, your immediate family includes your grandparents, aunts, uncles, and all your cousins, and everyone comes to every family gathering.

My mother-in-law, Natalie, was even more inclusive. Family gatherings included all of the above plus a few neighbors, several of her teacher friends, friends of her children, and maybe a family or two from the school where she taught.

I think I fell in love with my in-laws as quickly as I fell in love with my husband. Chris was smart. He took me to meet his family very soon after we met. It was a Saturday or Sunday evening and everyone had come home for dinner. I learned, over the next few months, Chris and his 5 siblings were free to invite friends for dinner and they frequently did.

Natalie loved to cook. She had been a nutritionist in the army during WWII, stationed in England. She was used to cooking for hungry crowds. This was good, because during the next year, three of her children married, including Chris and I. As our families grew, the family gatherings grew, too. Before long, all of us were married and bringing our children along. You'd think with 6 children and their spouses and 18 grandchildren, this would be enough immediate family for anyone, but Natalie found people endlessly interesting and there would often be someone new to meet, in addition to a few old friends, colleagues, and neighbors. If anything, the gatherings became larger and included more people as the years went by.

Natalie passed away in November of 2006, five years after her husband, Paul. Chris and I visited her the day before she had the seizure from which she never awoke. She dozed on and off, but whenever she was awake, she asked about everyone in our family. Just before we left, she woke up to say goodbye. Looking up at us with bright eyes and an even brighter smile, she said, “It's been fun, hasn't it!” On the way home, Chris told me he felt she was speaking more of her life than of the moment.  It wasn't until later, we learned these had been her last words.

We still get together, but not as much. Natalie was the matriarch and truly, I believe people came together to be with her. She left us with memories of warm meals, large family gatherings which never felt crowded, and a gentle sense of humor which occasionally included novelty eyeglasses (with eyeballs on springs) and an umbrella hat.

She also left her recipes, organized in cardboard boxes, some typed, some handwritten, and some with the unmistakable purplish blue print of the school mimeograph machine. On the recipes, she kept a diary of sorts; notes on doubling the recipes and how much was left over, who came to each gathering, and how they set up the tables and chairs. Our son, John, took some of these recipes and created a lovely recipe book, which is available online.  Take a look!  He included copies of some of the original recipes, notes and all:

Easter Brunch and a Bunch More

Now, our own family is growing. Our third grandchild is due to arrive any day now. Just having our kids and grandkids together makes for a full house. Lately, however, both Chris and I have been missing the large Reinhart family gatherings and this year, we invited everyone we could think of to join us for Easter. It was wonderful!

We plan to continue this tradition, though I would never try to take Natalie's place. That would be silly. For one thing, those would be big googly-eyed glasses to fill.

​clicking on the photo will take you to the online store where one can purchase googly-eyed glasses & other novelties

Canes, Trains, and No Automobiles

I've known it for a long time.  Someday, someone would be telling me to give up my car keys.  I just didn't expect it this soon.  I also didn't expect the news to come from our mechanic.  As bad as this sounds, I'm really lucky.  I wasn't asked to give up my license, just this particular car.  The first mechanic's verdict was, "How attached are you to this vehicle?"  The second mechanic described our car with a string of obscenities.  

Fortunately, we still have Chris' truck and selling the old car for junk helped offset the cost of getting the truck in good repair.  We are now a one pick-up truck family.  I'm opting for a bus pass.​

I've been riding the bus all year to go to my classes at the University downtown, and I've really enjoyed it.  The drivers with RTD bus service in Denver have been incredibly friendly and helpful, even when I ride my mobility scooter onto the bus and take up 4 places while paying only half the fare.  I was surprised at first.  Are the drivers always this nice?  So far!

What's great about riding the bus, besides not having to look for a parking space on campus, is how incredibly independent I feel as I get off at 16th street mall, downtown.  Especially if I have my scooter, I feel I can go anywhere and do anything.  ​On campus, it's nice to be able to go faster than the students who are walking.  I haven't run anyone down yet, but I have had a couple of students get out of my way, quickly.  I know they were just being polite.

Lately, I've been using my walker instead, as my scooter needs new batteries.  Those will have to wait awhile.  Until then, I have to admit, the walker is a huge help.  It wasn't easy convincing myself to use it and sometimes I manage to fool myself into thinking I don't need it.  I tried using a cane when I first had trouble walking.  Canes are cooler than walkers.  I have several.   The purple flowered cane works the best, but the ones I really like are the carved ebony canes, one from Sudan and one from Juba. Unfortunately, a cane will often trip me up.  

​It's those pliés.  My legs still seem to think it's a good idea to practice dancing at odd times.  Nothing I say will convince them to at least inform me when they decide to do this, so the walker is a good idea.  My only challenge with the walker is in the classroom building.  With nice smooooth tile floors and long hallways, it's oh, so tempting to run a little and jump on for a ride.  

This is not tempting on the sidewalk, especially in the older neighborhoods.  Those sidewalks are not designed with older people in mind, especially those older people whose bladders don't like to be jarred suddenly.  ​

Back on the bus, I am treated as a very important passenger.  I get to ride the lift up the steps and I can sit up front.  If I have the scooter and another scooter or wheelchair rider is there, we spend the whole ride comparing our vehicles as though they were a couple of sport's cars.  We've immediately become comrades.  My regular bus drivers know me by now and they know where I get off.  

I haven't ridden the light rail in Denver yet, but I took my scooter to Chicago last fall.  Frontier Airlines staff were exceptionally nice and I was able to ride all the way to the gate.  Once in Chicago, we took the buses and trains.  I love the trains in Chicago.  They are rather old, though.  Riding with the scooter meant letting the station attendant know I'd need a ramp.  He or she would go get it, a heavy metal platform, and, when the train arrived, would place it down so I could board safely.  Then the attendant would phone ahead to where I was to get off and alert the attendant there to be ready with the ramp.  ​

At this point, I still have my driver's license and I can still drive.  When the time comes for me to give up driving completely, I want to smile and say, "Sure!", because I know I won't be giving up my independence.  ​

​In fact, as soon as I have new scooter batteries, I won't miss the car at all.

​Denver from the Auraria Campus

Magic

“And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you

because the greatest secrets

are always hidden in the most unlikely places.

Those who don't believe in magic will never find it.”

Roald Dahl

Thirty-five years ago, I broke up with a boyfriend and decided I wasn't going to have any relationships for at least a couple of years. I was only 20 years old, after all, and had a lot I wanted to do. The next day, I met a quiet, handsome, older man (he was 24) named Chris Reinhart. We'll celebrate our 34th wedding anniversary in May.

I believe in magic love.

Two weeks ago, when we started looking at our house and deciding where to paint, one wall stood out with its ugly, dirty, yellowish color and pencil scribblings. This wall definitely would not be painted. It's our sacred growing wall, telling the stories of our children in graphite lines, scrawled names and dates.

About ten inches from the floor, the name written for the marking is Isabel Gosling, 6/16/02.

Almost even with our daughter, there's another line. The name written by it is familiar to our family. Lisa was our daughter's imaginary friend for years before, “you know how it is, Mom. Sometimes imaginary friend's moms just want them to come back home”. But before Lisa went home, she left her height mark on our growing wall.

I had an imaginary friend when I was younger, too. Her name was Linda. Where do these friends come from? I don't know, but I believe they are real.

I believe in magic friends.

Once, when traveling, I was introduced to a wonderful woman named Bella. She immediately came over and embraced me, then stepped back, looked away for a moment, and chuckled. Turning back to me, she said, “You brought someone with you, in spirit.” I replied, “Yes!” When I returned, I told a friend about this. He looked at me very seriously and said, “It was me”. I smiled, because I knew.

I believe in magic people.

We watched our donkey make friends with a fox and play in our yard together. Later, when the kits were born, the fox and his wife brought them out to meet the donkey. We watched from the window.

I believe in magic animals.

We heard Chris' mother's last words, wrapped them up in our love and sorrow, and gave them to the rest of the family.

I believe in magic moments.

Our paychecks nearly always carried us through from one month to the next. When they didn't, my father would loan me a novel, telling me I had to read it. As we walked out the door, he would grin and say, “don't lose the bookmark”... a $20 bill.

I believe in magic fathers.

Being diagnosed with Parkinson's disease means I can stay at home, write, do art, cook, dance, do yoga, see friends, take classes, and take naps whenever I want to.

I believe in magic gifts even when they come in crazy wrapping.

The puppy only peed in the house once today, my husband danced with me, and our son has a job interview on Friday.

I definitely believe in magic.

 “The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.”

 W. B. Yeats

Ikea Overload

We needed a new light fixture for our kitchen and had tried most of the stores in our area without finding what we wanted or could afford. Then we looked at the Ikea store website. Good selection, affordable, this looked like our best bet. We had heard a lot about this store and there was certainly a lot of excitement when it opened in Centennial, south of Denver.

I suggested we pack a lunch, some blankets, a flashlight, and a tent. I told the kids they would most likely be on their own for dinner. We also brought my mobility scooter, which was good. Walking continues to be my most challenging activity. For those of you who shop at Ikea often, you know how much walking is required. It was our first time. We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. Chris drove. I told him where to go.

Twenty-two miles down the highway and around numerous twisting roads, we finally pulled into the huge parking garage belonging to Ikea.

Twenty feet inside the door, my remaining dopamine producing cells (DPC's) went on strike. They do this sometimes, usually when I need them the most. This time I was ready. I took some Sinemet. Though this medication usually slips in unnoticed and gets the work done, today it was no go. The DPC's were patrolling and the Sinemet was caught picking the lock. Today the DPC's were in no mood to allow a SCAB across the picket lines. 

Unfortunately, as most of us with Parkinson's know, there are times when the meds don't work. It's anyone's guess why this happens. Stress? Fatigue? Stores the size of small towns? DPC's are fickle, especially when there aren't enough of them. They decide when to work and when to tell me to take a hike – or not.

I was in trouble. I knew if I stayed on course, I was on my own. The tightness in my chest was not going to go away, my eyes would steadfastly refuse to blink, and I was at risk for falling asleep in the middle of the store. However, I did not come 22 miles to be thwarted by my own substantia nigra. After all, I had my husband AND my scooter with me.

All things considered, we did well. Having come for just one item, we made it out with less than ten. We found a nice light fixture for our kitchen, another light for over the sink, toilet brushes, a ceramic pot for Chris' Norfolk pine tree, and at least one more thing I can't remember. It took about three days to get from one end of the store to the other. Had I not brought the scooter, we'd still be there.

I think I need to go back. We forgot the light bulbs... and there was this cute little kitchen greenhouse, and candles, vases, pictures...

Better pack a lunch.