collected by Terri Reinhart
Good morning teacher. When’s lunch?
It’s okay, teacher. I’m just sad. I have to cry for a minute but then I’ll be okay.
Watch this, teacher! Watch this, teacher! Now…don’t… try this… at home!
You can’t call her a dude. She’s a girl. She’s a dude-ess.
I’ll finish that later, teacher. I have an important job to do in space.
That’s okay, teacher, you can do this when you’re younger.
I made some cookies, teacher, do you want some? Now you gotta eat ‘em.
I don’t like porridge. Can I just have some maple syrup?
My mom’s prettier than you are.
I’m stronger than you are.
Watch how I can pull on my ears until they hurt!
I don’t suck my thumb, but I do scratch my head a lot.
I’m going to catch you and then I‘m going to eat you! I’m going to catch you and then I‘m going to eat you! I’m going to make princess stew!
I’m sorry to have to tell you but I’m not going to marry you. I’m going to marry Sam.
That’s okay, cause I’m not going to marry you, either.
Teacher, she’s being mean to me. She says she’s not going to marry me.
When I grow up, I’m going to marry my daddy.
When I grow up, I’m going to marry my dog.
I am not Adrian. I am a mushroom.
Only Jesus could tie his shoes when he was born.
Only God can count to infinity
God says we have to love our enemiesSHUTUPORI’LLKNOCKYOURHEADOFF.
That’s impossible and if you don’t believe me, ask God.
After I die and then I come back again and have a different mom and dad, will I still be a boy or will I maybe be a girl?
My mom’s going to get married and then she’s going to have a baby.
I got a baby girl. She got out of my mom’s belly.
Really? My baby sister was hatched out four months ago!
I’m going to hide under the table. Try to find me.
I’m not coming out, teacher, cause I’m not in here.
Don’t look, teacher.
You know, teacher, you shouldn’t really go over there, cause they’re not really doing anything bad, so you don’t have to go over there.
I wasn’t trying to hit her, I was just throwing it at her.
So, we got busted. What’re you gonna do? Cry about it?
I wish you had mousies flying everywhere and going pop, pop out of your chimney.
I wish you a flying rainbow that could take you anywhere you wanted to go.
I wish you a rocket ship.
Dear Firemen, I wish you this firemen picture so that if your firetruck ever gets stealed, you can look at it and remember all the good work you did.
Dear Firemen, I wish you had a fire hose so you could wash the fire off a building if it gots fire on it.
I wish you a shooting star.
I wish you a big birthday cake with lots of candles on it.
I wish we could have lunch.
Uh, teacher, I don’t think that’s a very good idea. (I let a child help light the story candle)
I know where Grandmother Willow lives.
I’m going over to Grandmother Willow’s house, tomorrow, to see Matthew Mousekin.
Well, I’m going to Mexico to have my hair braided. You can come with me if you ask your mommy.
I’m going on a big blue airplane and I’m never coming back.
Is that story for reals?
My dad did that. (After every story)
Snip, snap, snout, this tale is told out!
NOW I know! After story and after you shake my hand and say, ‘Thank you for a lovely morning’, THAT’S WHEN WE HAVE LUNCH!!
Uh, uh, uh, Mrs. Reinhart! No silliness. Thank YOU for a lovely morning!
Goodbye golden knights!
Goodbye golden teacher!
Mmm, teacher, your lunch looks good. I think I’ll have some of yours.